JOURNEY

The past numbers of years have been a journey of sorts for me. The past several months and weeks in particular have brought health issues to the forefront. I finally went to the doctor the first week of April to get some medical help for my cough, chest pain and trouble breathing. It only took me 10 months to seek that help. When my doctor asked me why I took so long to come in I simply shrugged and said that I wasn’t really sure. He has been my doctor for over 30 years and has gotten to know me somewhat. He said that he knew why. He then proceeded to tell me that I am one of those people that thinks tomorrow will be a better day. I thought about that for a bit and agreed. It might be surprising to know that the older I am getting the more I am learning to let the dust settle before reacting too much. Things seem clearer when the dust settles. Perhaps the past 4 years in the Harman family has helped with this new found philosophy. There has been so much turmoil in the Harman family that has kept me on an adrenaline high and learning how to relax is now the order of the day. So, I don’t react to health issues as quickly as I should.

I went to a pulmonologist on Wednesday. I felt very comfortable with him and his staff. He ordered a CT scan for Thursday. Now that was an experience. The scan itself was a breeze – just follow the little computer guy and his instructions and you will do fine. However, I did not know I have an iodine allergy and reacted to the iodine the technician injected during the 2nd part of the test. My lips and back of my tongue became very tingly and felt as though they were swelling. Whether they actually did or not, I don’t really know. The whole experience lasted maybe 2 minutes. They called the doctor to come and check me and he thought I was doing fine – I agreed. It felt like a scene from House, if any of you are familiar with that show. Now I wait for the results. For some reason, I am not very worried. Maybe I should be but I am not. Maybe my new found philosophy is kicking into gear or maybe thinking that tomorrow really will be a better day or maybe I am truly just too ignorant to speculate as to what all “it” could be or maybe I have a peace that passes understanding. Monday will come soon enough and it will come whether I worry or not, so I have chosen the not. I am relieved to hopefully have some answers. The past 10 months have been hard and anxious filled because of not being able to breathe properly.

I hope that should something else come along, I will not wait as long to seek help. But, I also think that I really want to continue believing that tomorrow just maybe a better day....