I just got home from an absolutely delightful weekend with Leah. We spent the weekend together at a hotel. We arrived there late Friday afternoon. I arrived first and was checking in when Leah came into the lobby without my knowledge. I’m pretty sure she snuck in. I turned around and she was just standing there grinning. True to nature, I let out a yelp and then started to cry. Why I always cry like that is a mystery to me – but I do, none-the-less. I couldn’t help but wonder what the woman at the check-in counter was thinking. It seems the harder I try not to cry at such times, the more I do. Oh well, maybe babies of families are mushier than the rest – not sure, but I wonder. Or, maybe losing one’s mother on Mother’s Day is still a poignant memory.
Leah and I spent the weekend shopping and eating, but mostly talking and just being together. I don’t take these times lightly because they are few and far between. As Leah’s life continues to change it may be harder for the two of us to get away like this, but for now I revel in it. I hope we can always make time to do this. I must admit I enjoy not having to share her with anyone else – if that is being selfish, of which I have been accused by well meaning friends, then so be it. I suppose having only one child makes the parent/child relationship a bit different than when there are more. I don’t know about that but I wonder. I thank the Lord often for the one child I have – we have been very blessed!
I can’t let this day go by without writing about my own Mother. There are not very many days that go by that I don’t think about her. I told her on Friday, in a whispered prayer, that I wish that we could sit and have coffee. I like coffee a lot more now than when she was alive. I miss our conversations and her wisdom. I am reaching a point in my life where I would love to draw on her view of life and womanhood. I am sad that she does not know my daughter – I think that makes me the saddest of all. Or maybe, in some way, she does. I like to think about that. None of us really know what God allows or does not allow when we go to live with Him. I like to think that Mother has some idea of what her children and grand-children are up to. I don’t dwell on it too much because it truly is a mystery. I am so grateful for the mother I had and for the daughter I have and I pray that God will bless us all in midst of this everyday life.
So, to all the mothers in my family – Happy Mother’s Day and I love you all!
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3 comments:
Denise--you and I were on the same mind path--while I didn't visit with Kristen (that will have to wait), I did write about Mother on my blog. A bit longer, admittedly. And I agree, it would be wonderful to sit down and have coffee! I do think of Mother when I have a good cup of coffee--wonder why?
As for your tendency to cry? who knows? maybe your taps are just closer to the surface.
I have had a busy week and weekend, so my memories and tribute are still coming. Thanks for the memories and the love, Denise.
By the way: crying? I think I remember that mother couldn't cry -- that her tear ducts did not function or something like that? Maybe you're just compensating!
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